How to have the cheesiest Valentine’s Day
When I think of Valentine’s Day, my brain automatically rushes to those cheesy little Valentines you and your classmates used to give each other in elementary school. You know, the little paper ones with pictures of princesses or pirates or Powerpuff girls or Pokémon… the list goes on and on and on.
My mind also races to candy hearts, cheap, colorfully wrapped chocolates, people holding boomboxes over their heads in tuxedos on someone’s lawn, bouquets of flowers, giant stuffed bears, over-priced romantic dinners, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast in bed, heart-shaped jewelry, heart-shaped steaks for a home cooked dinner by candlelight: AKA cliché, after cliché, after cliché.
… But is that really a bad thing?
Being super cheesy on Valentine’s Day can bring back feelings of nostalgia, enhance feelings of cuteness/adorable-ness in a relationship by at least 15.3%, and can help turn your dull, try-to-hard Valentine’s plans into something sweet and simple.
What’s that saying again? K.I.S.S.? Keep it simple, stupid? How appropriate for Valentine’s Day!
Here’s how you can pull of the cheesiest Valentine’s in the history of ever.
Love like in the movies
If you’re a bird, I’m a bird. (Noah, The Notebook)
Is there a particular romantic film you watched over and over again as a child, hoping that maybe one day in the future you’d have that sort of fairytale romance creep up on you? My favorite romance movie of all time is The Princess Bride (followed by Monster, but not a lot of people see it as romantic and touching as I do…), and everytime I watch it I get swept up in the love story.
Maybe your significant other watched Titanic non-stop and thought of herself as a Rose looking for her Jack, or maybe your boyfriend has a soft spot for rom-com movies like 50 First Dates.
Regardless of what film starts your partner’s heart up, it’s worth it to keep in the back of your mind if you want to pull off some truly cheesy Valentine’s Day hijinks…
Maybe your wife is madly in love with Wes Anderson’s portrayal of colorful romance, so book a night at a hotel, give her an invite to the Grand Budapest, surprise her with some Anderson-like appetizers and dainties, tell her to put on her best fur coat and cake that eyeliner on under her eyes (á la Margot Tenenbaum), tell her she’s a fantastic fox, and hit the hotel spa for your very own Aquatic adventure.
Maybe your man is obsessed with the romance behind Star Wars (cough my boyfriend cough), so make him a hand-drawn card with you as Leia and him as Han and then surprise him with a Millennium Falcon Lego set you two can build together over a glass of blue milk.
Or you could go ahead and outright copy a cliché movie trope if you want something simpler: stand on their lawn with a boombox blasting their favorite song. Surprise them with a quiet, special moment like the end of 16 Candles. Write down every cliché movie quote you can think and leave them around the house.
Let Hollywood help your cheesy romance blossom!
Candy + chocolate + wine = <3
The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach (Someone who never met a woman, apparently)
People love food. This isn’t breaking news. But you know what might be breaking news? That people love chocolate. And candy. And wine, and when you combine the three of those things, you get one of the simplest equations to planning a perfect Valentine’s Day!
Around this time of year, there are hundreds of options when it comes to heart-shaped chocolate and candy. You can go to your local Walmart and pick up a variety of different, inexpensive, heart-shaped treats, so why not get a big box of chocolate, a bag of candy hearts, some rose-shaped chocolates on a stick, and everything in between, package it all up in a big fancy basket, and drop it off for your sweetheart at work?
If you’re dating someone who maybe doesn’t have the biggest sweet-tooth, then you could always pick up a bottle of wine (or two) and add a few hearts and ribbons to the bottle to make it really festive!
Another cool option when it comes to wine would be to get your own custom label printed for your sweetheart, so that they can truly feel like the wine was bought for them.
If you’re wondering about customizing chocolate, never fear: M&M’s let you custom order your own romantic chocolates where you can add your SO’s face, different romantic sayings, and so much more to a variety of Valentine’s Day themed M&M deliciousness!
Modern romance expert 101
Chances are you don’t think “true romance” when you think of social media, but believe it or not, there are a variety of ways to show your lover how crazy you are about them with some li’l tips and tricks!
Why not design her own personal Geofilter and place it over her office or apartment?! Geofilers are relatively easy to design and order – all you need to do is follow the instructions on Snapchat’s website. There are even templates online you can download and modify if you aren’t the most tech-savvy or creative.
If you have a little extra money to spend, why not extend the Geofilter to her favorite spots? Or even the restaurant you’re taking her for dinner? Or if you’re going to pop the question, why not make a “Will you marry me?” Geofilter? Or a “She said YES!!!” Geofilter? The possibilities are endless when you look into your heart and start Geofilterin’. (How to use Snapchat to be Romantic on Valentine’s Day)
You can use Instagram Stories to post a fast-paced montage of you and your boo, tagging them in all the story posts so they know each time you update. You could even put together a super romantic photo collage of you and your girlfriend, and from there you can print it out and frame it, post it on social media, put it on a shirt, etc.
Social media may seem like a stange tool to use when it comes to wooing your boo, but at the end of the day, it’s how creative you can get that’ll help your romance shine on through. Oh! And if your SO is someone who doesn’t really do social media, maybe skip this step.
Little, little, little details
Little love notes. Rose petals on the ground. Charging your iPhone for you when you forget. Bringing them a coffee at work. Sending them a mushy text. It may seem obvious and kind of silly to point out, but little details can take a ‘meh’ Valentine’s Day and turn it into something really special and next-level.
Recently I learned that the new guy I’m seeing hasn’t ever spent a Valentine’s Day with a girlfriend before, so I decided to plan #Valenweek:
Valenweek has been a week-long event where every single day I give him a cheesy little kid’s Valentine’s Day card (he loves Spiderman, so they’re all spidey-themed!) at work or at home, and then I accompany it with a small gift. Day one was chocolates. Day two was a deck of cards with 52 things I loved about him on each card. Day three was a small rose plant. Day four was his favorite Dim Sum dish. Day five was a mug that said ‘Be Mine’.
While some people may find these things to be excessive and far from ‘little’ details, the whole endeavor has cost me less than $30 and it’s made him feel incredibly special and happy.
By also doing these little things, it takes a lot of pressure off of the actual day itself, because this year Valentine’s is on a Wednesday, and if that isn’t a pain in the butt, then I don’t know what is.
If you don’t want to take #Valenweek to the extreme like I have (again, I don’t think it’s too terribly over-the-top, but everyone is different), then write your sweetheart a couple of love letters to open during different occasions (‘Open me if you’re feeling down about yourself, ‘Open me if you had a bad day’, ‘Open me if you want to laugh for 400 hours’, etc), or get creative in other ways!
It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen. (John Wooden)
Cook it: Cook it real good
Maybe you’re someone who watches the Cooking Channel 24/7 and thinks that they can master the perfect romantic, candle-lit dinner, or maybe you’re like me and you’ve gotten cocky after watching one too many Matty Matheson videos and you’re positive this steak and potatoes recipe will win over even the coldest of broken hearts:
(https://www.blueapron.com/) or Chef’s Plante:
You choose from new original recipes. We deliver exactly what you need in a refrigerated box. You create exciting new dinners following our simple steps. (Chef’s Plate)
Or maybe you’re feeling bold enough to try your hand at following along with and cooking a 3-course Tasty meal for two by blindly clicking on random videos and challenging yourself to make them with your partner for a super fun night in!
The best part about romantic cooking for two? You can always give up and order Chinese food or a heart-shaped pizza and chow down on that instead #noshame.
How are you adding that extra parmesan, cheddar, and mozzarella to your Valentine’s Day celebrations?
Do you have a particular plan in mind this Valentine’s Day? Maybe you’re saying f*$# it and are hanging out with friends and doing a classic boy’s night out/girl’s night out with your BFFs?
Let me know how you celebrate (or resent) Valentine’s Day in the comments below!
How to have the cheesiest Valentine’s Day